(a totally unrelated photo of me)
I’m going to try and introduce a bit of Halloween vibe into Blogtober and write about my biggest fears! I believe there is always something everyone is scared of, and I do think a lot of our fears are generally down to the fear of dying – but I thought I would share with you some of my fears!
Spiders – Pretty basic and typical, but I am. This one I’m sort of confused about because most spiders can’t kill you, so it’s not the death aspect I’m scared of. I think it’s more the fact that they can run so quickly and their legs move all funny and ew, I’m getting goosebumps and itchy writing about this. Most of my older sisters are also scared of spiders, so I’m blaming them for passing on the fear.
Water – No, not drinking water but out-of-my-depth water. So the ocean, or a large lake etc where I wouldn’t be able to touch the floor. I’m not the strongest of swimmers either, so I’m usually scared when I’m in deep water. I also don’t like the fact that I don’t know what’s underneath me.
Dying – Ok, so I know like I’m probably scared of lot’s of aspects of dying but I think about death nearly on a daily. I’m a hypochondriac, so I constantly think something is wrong with me. I get a random stab in my chest and I think I’m having a heart attack. I’ll get a random twitch in my eye or face and think I’m going to have a stroke etc.
Not saving an important document – So this is a pretty tame fear compared to the death ones previously, but I am so nervous about accidentally deleting or my laptop crashing and not backing up any important uni work etc. I’m constantly pressing the save button every few sentences haha!
That I’ll never be happy with myself – Don’t get me wrong, I don’t hate myself. There’s just a lot of aspects I would love to change about myself, both physical and mental I suppose. But I know some of them are just things I’ll have to accept about myself, and I’m really hoping I eventually will!
I won’t ever figure out what I want to do – THIS GOT DEEP REAL QUICK. But again, I’m scared in case I end up in an endless circle of trying to figure out what I want to do. I’m nearly nineteen, and I still have no clue what I want to do once I leave University. Does anyone? I admire you if you do. I’m also scared of the fact that what I do once I leave University, will be the thing I do for the rest of my life.
That I find out I can’t have kids – I want to do the whole “get married and have kids” thing eventually, but I know that a lot of people find out they can’t conceive only when they are trying. Of course I wouldn’t really know if I could or not yet, so I’m scared in case the day comes where I find out I can’t.
Ok, so I think I’ll stop there because I’m giving myself the fear writing about all of these haha! Let me know below what your biggest fears are!
~ K x